morning walk!!!

Ya finally I started my morning walks… its been just 2 days… but the feeling is amazing… the morning fresh air freshens u up like anything… usually I start whn others are completin their walks.. around 7 am…but then the fact tht I actually started it is more commendable… music is the only accompaniment… soothens me up… but ya most important thing I feel is walking alone... makes one give time for self… helps one think about many matters from your perspective… while walking with someone u cant give time for urself as there would be matters of the world, family frnds being discussed…. I would seriously recommend ppl to start walking…n hopefully I don’t stop it soon… after coming back I can also spare time for my new interest.. gardening… with the help of a person I started planting some flowering plants..have quite a few of them now… n the joy of seeing new flowers bloom is also wonderful… I might be putting up the pics of the diff flowers I have now…. But ya because of these new interests my mind is more at peace now… no…don’t think am growing old by saying these things… am ‘gonna be 18’till I die’…

beggars with babies...

U must have come across female beggars with a small crying infant in their hands…. Its such a pathetic sight… n whn u have seen movies like traffic signal or some other similar ones u don’t know wht to do in such cases…. The beggars usually make the child cry by pinching or something similar so that ppl take pity n give them alms… What do u do in such cases??? do u get angry on the beggar n shoo them away… or do u feel for the child and give her some money…. U can create a problem in both way… by giving them money u probably make them feel successful so that they go to some more ppl n make the babies cry for the same… or by shooing away u probably make them think that the crying of the baby aint good enough n they do something more severe to make the child cry louder… I always feel this dilemma… but I feel the best way to stop this is to stop giving them money n letting them know tht its only because she has the child tht shes not getting alms… some babies will suffer but the future babies would be spared once they come to know tht babies don’t work!!

My first stint as a chief guest...

This Saturday I had the honor of attending a students gathering as a chief guest… as soon as I was invited I became nervous of the worst part of being a chief guest… ‘saying 2 words’(don shabd in Marathi to be interpreted as speech in English)… am very bad at oration esp with so many ppl listenin… my last 3 experiences were very bad as I was made to speak in a function at the last moment and had to speak in Marathi… God knows wht I said…all tata.. papa… but this time I was determined to go prepared… n I had thought of a couple of lines to say… initially I had to distribute some prizes along with some other guests… then there some other things… n then came the final part… my turn was after 2 ppl… the main organizer came n asked me if I was ready… suddenly the whole world around me was blank n all I could think of was the ‘2 words’… n whn my turn was to come the organizer suddenly took up the mike n started sayin the final part… I was stunned…. I thought maybe they had cancelled my speech to prevent embarrassment (as the organizer had heard my previous speech)…to be frank If I was in the organizers place I wouldn’t have invited me after hearin the previous speech… I was so heart broke… had prepared this ‘2 words’ for 2 days…. N I felt bad… I wanted to go there n speak… n suddenly after the organizers speech I was asked to say a few words n end the gathering… actually the organizer had thought maybe had come unprepared n so he gave me some time to think of something… so nice of him… n then I went… couple of my close relatives were sitting in front laughing n ready to ‘enjoy’ my speech… I tried to be as normal as possible n hoped not to give away the impression that I had ratofied the speech… wht I said even I don’t remember but I think I said the words correctly…just as I had thought of… in 2 minutes… but as I gave the speech I couldn’t hear anything… I couldn’t look at any one person… it was as if I was lookin blankly somewhere…. N whn I said my final words “thank you” I heard the roar of claps… n I smiled…. I was back in the real world… i thought I had spoken well… I asked some people n they said it was good.. short n sweet… tht was ncie to hear esp after my previous failure… I have now asked them to give me a cd afterwards… I want to hear myself speak… n maybe if it turns out to be good ill upload the same… it was a grt evening … n ya I think my first stint as the chief guest was successful… only thing is I need to overcome stage fear…. N keep some speeches ready in advance… cos u never know whn u might be asked to say ‘2 words’….

when u r God to someone...

Yesterday I had a 4 yr child coming to me with a stick injury resulting in corneal(black portion of the eye) tear with bleeding in the eye… the result can be varied in such cases, from complete recovery to loss of eye due to infection… also the patient was poor… so I advised the patient to go to KEM where I could arrange everything and the whole sugery would cost around 500-600 rupees whereas in private the expenses would go to nearly 5000 as it would require general anesthesia… but the relative of the patient was hell bent upon me doing the surgery as she had full faith in me… her words “nahi sir 2 paisa jyada lage toh bhi thik lekin aap ke haath se hua toh humko koi tension nahi” still linger in my mind… I tried best to explain her tht results vary n instead of spending so much she should go to KEM but to no avail… again she said to the mother of the child “yeh doctor yahan ke sabse acche hai… inhone operation kiya toh accha hi hoga”… the faith she put in me left me spell bound… infact put me more under pressure to perform my best… even after operating that child I felt that I may not have been able to perform to match her expectations… the fact that I am HUMAN and the patient put me in God’s seat troubled me a lot… today am goin to open the childs eye pad after finishing this blog… n am very very nervous…
It feels very good to know that the patient trusts you but it is dangerous when they start considering you God… infact in both my hospitals I have written a note outside my opd… ‘the person sitting inside is HUMAN n not GOD’…

wht do u live for???

At times while driving I come across people on streets… recently 2 types of people intrigued me… one type was people who lived lying on streets unattended for mths n yrs together... getting to eat maybe once in couple of days… and the second type was people who worked n worked for say 50 rupees a day and also had a family to look after… wht was the purpose of such people in life??? I got the answer for the second type as soon as I reached home n saw my daughter standing at the door…. It doesn’t matter how much one has to slog the whole day, if at the end of d day we see a smile on our childrens face all is forgotten… but then the first type… they die a slow n prolonged death of hunger, diseases, etc. some say it’s their sins of previous life… but then y does one has to suffer for things done in previous life??? Isn’t it logical that a person pays for his/her sins in the same life???... maybe ill find the answer to this n many other such questions someday…

Male child....

Today had been to a lunch to a frnds place… his wife is pregnant n is following up for antenatal care with swapna… in between talks my frnds mom asked swapna indirectly wether she knew about the sex of the child…. She was ‘u must have seen in the sonography report..’ the girl was pregnant for the first time n her mom-in-law wanted to know the sex of the child…indirectly she wanted to know wether it was a male child…!!! Even in the so-called modern society the ‘male child’ wish still prevails… even my nani once said ‘aata next mulga pahije’… no it wasn’t for a boy n a girl family but it was the ‘male child’ factor into play here… our neighbor had a girl after 14 yrs of marriage n then she became pregnant again n in third mth the father wanted to know the sex of the child… we asked him wether he would terminate the pregnancy if it was a girl child??? He was ‘no no…aise hi puch raha hun’… he got a nice lecture frm us… looking at children around me I have come to the conclusion that boys are never that attached to their parents… the love and emotions that a girl has for her parents cannot be matched for by a boy… girls always remain attached to their parents… especially they are always daddy’s girl… maybe am biased here because of that…J… but in this age… I personally feel forget about carrying forward your generation but rather enjoy the oldage with ur children n I believe that a daughter would be there for you more than your son….

arranging a marraige...

Recently we had the opportunity of arranging a meet betn prospective bride(my cousin) n groom… n considering both me n swapna don’t know to arrange one my uncles n aunts had also come up to help… a girl n a guy sittin in betn 10 people n we expect them to talk n ask each other questions related to ‘knowin each other better’… the guy startin shootin questions as if he had a nice long experience in this… which made me doubt wether the guy is choosy or the previous girls rejected him due to some problem… my cousin was the other way round…. May be someone should have taken some classes of Q n A’s for her… but since it was her first time… forgiven… how can 2 ppl know each other in just a meet… I mean knowing myself if I had gone for an arranged marriage the girl would have ran away after comin to know me better…mayb even put a complaint on me for havin a dual personality…… one always presents his/her better side in such cases… aren’t the following questions more important… wht r ur bad habits??? How many affairs u had before??? Do u have any diseases??? Whts ur HIV status??? Are you an MCB or a member of nari mukti sanghatna??? Common if ppl had starting answering such questions truthfully then maybe half of the weddings wouldn’t have taken place… maybe that’s y they don’t ask… n then the best or should I say worst part…waitin for the guy to know his opinion…. Here I was very pissed with my uncles n aunts… they without asking my cousin wether she liked the guy or not stated… ‘lets hope the guy gives a positive report tomm…!!!’ n the moron guy could have just said yes or no… but the moro he was, sent his refusal with an excuse… ‘the girls teeth don’t show up whn she smiles…does she have a prob with her teeth???’ n then we had to pacify my cousin for half an hour after she burst into tears in a K serial fashion….
p.s – expect a short story soon on this topic soon from me….